Well, piddle around on the internet of course!
Checked facebook...nothing exciting going on.
Checked foxnews.com...Dick Cheney is going to release a memoir of his time in office with Bush, apparently he doesn't have quite the shining review of Bush's last couple of years in office. That's interesting...boring...but interesting...
Checked yahoo.com...there's a planet that revolves around its sun in the opposite direction of its sun's rotation...and I have an email from Express telling me to wear jeans. Why am I getting this email?
Checked espn.com...alas, they havn't decided on a whim to start NCAA football early. (That's the audacity of hope!)
Checked apple.com/trailers...nothing worth screaming about. There's a trailer there for the independent film "45365." I read the synopsis and almost fell asleep, but I watched the trailer anyway. I was glued to the screen the whole time. Not saying it's going to be an amazing film, but I really enjoyed the trailer.
Running out of things to look at...oh, maybe someone posted a blog. Hurrah! Dave did!
It was a really good post, I must say. About sitting around and wasting time on the internet when he could/should be doing something productive/rewarding. Hmmm, this is a little too close to home. CS Lewis wouldn't be sitting around watching movie trailers for movies he's never going to see anyway! I need to get up off my steadily-increasing-in-size butt and do something! Namely: work out!
So, thus inspired, I change, gathered my things, and set out. The plan: weights first (4 sets starting at 20 reps at a low weight, then 5 less reps and 5 more pounds down to 5 reps) do that on each of the 5 machines (bi's, tri's, chest, back, abs) then some cardio in the pool. THIS, is gonna be good.
I go through the weights and only struggle slightly on the bench press (it's been a while). So far, so good. Now for some laps in the pool.
There's some kiddies and mommies in the pool, but that's okay, I can swim around them.
It's about 95 degrees outside. No problem! I brought some water!
I get in the pool. The water temperature is probably about 88 degrees...not refreshing so much.
Pressing on...1 lap, 2 lap...getting a little tired, not gonna lie. Should have put that water next to the pool, maybe I should get out and grab it....nah....3 lap...ok, I think I got one more in me...4 lap...Yes! Ok, I'm done, there's more kiddies and mommies showing up and they have large floats and boogie boards, time to go.
Man, that last lap took a lot out of me, feeling a little whoosy. Why are all my muscles not working so much? That's normal, right? I just worked out hard core, of course I'm tired.
Ok, now I can't seem to catch my breath, that's weird. Ok, I'll just drink some water and I'll feel better. I can't swallow, what's up with that!? I know I need some hydration. I'll go sit in the shade instead of the sun...that's...better?...Why do I feel like I'm having heat stroke? Maybe because...I AM HAVING HEAT STROKE.
Alright, don't panic. I'll just go to the bathroom, there's AC in there, I'll chill there until this passes. Blacking out...can't see...there's the door, go inside. Turn on the light....of all the lights in all the world throughout history that have worked when someone flicked a switch, why doesn't this one work right now!!!!
Ok, I'll go into the weight room and lie down in the kiddie room. Locked!? You've got to be kidding me!
Back to the bathroom, the dark, unlighted, un-windowed, cavern of a bathroom. I'll leave the light in the "on" position, just incase it decides to change its mind. Speaking of minds, here's what's going through mine at this point:
Point: "Chad, pretty sure you need to lie down, like, right now."
Counter-Point: "I'm in a pitch black, public restroom. Who knows what I'll be sitting in! Talk about unsanitary!"
Point: "Would you rather be unsanitary, or unconscious?"
Counter-Point: "Touche."
So I sit against the wall in the bathroom. In the dark. Luckily it's a large bathroom, so where I'm sitting I'm a good 8 feet away from the toilet (I only know this because I've been in there before...still pitch black in here).
So I slowly recover (turns out that the light was half working, I was just half blacked out and couldn't see anything anyway), and reappear 10 minutes later. All the kiddies and mommies still playing in the pool, oblivious that they were my last life line if the bathroom plan didn't work out.
Thus my adventure comes to an end. I survived, didn't even need an ambulance or anything. And it probably wasn't Dave's fault at all, that just made a catchy title. Probably should have had some breakfast. Probably should have drank a little more than a sip of water before I left, and probably should have drank more water throughout the process.
Life lesson: ....um...drink more water? That seems a little obvious. Pre-hydrate. That's a little better... Oh, how about get in shape so you can do a vigorous work out without almost dying! Which leads to: get off the internet all the time!
So here's to you Dave! You almost killed me but made me better for it! For that, I thank you. Now let's just see how long this new commitment to health lasts.
